magalomania:

I BET YOU DO.

How I feel every day xoxoxoxox

Source: fymodernfamily

Ryan Gosling on the Mickey Mouse club. Oh. OK. 

rafibiris: The Shining del Rey

rafibiris:

The Shining del Rey

Source: rafibiris

Source: justherguy

lipstickstainedlove:

perfect human being is perfect

Source: this-isakindness

alcoholindusedlove: every. friday. night.

alcoholindusedlove:

every. friday. night.

Source: alcoholindusedlove

Source: alcoholindusedlove

2_BITTIES

AKA: The best idea we’ve ever had

Jaime and I are looking for babes to hang out with (free drinks on idle Tuesdays), but we neither have the time nor will to be separated. She’s my bestie, my bottom bitch, road dog, possible mother of my children and I can’t bear to be apart from her. So we have combined friendship and love once more with the joint OKCupid Profile adequately named: 2_Bitties

Profile reads:

We may or may not have collectively been on enough dates through OKC to come to the conclusion: ‘This fucking sucks.’


So after 3 glasses (bottles) of wine last night, We started asking questions: 1.) How can we stop paying for alcohol and food altogether? 2.) How can Jaime (blonde) and Megan (redhead) hang out every day? 3.) Where can we find two dudebros that are funny and possibly good looking?

So here we are. 2 Bitties looking for babes to meetup for some double date action. We’re not total freaks OK. If we agree to meetup with one of you (congratulations), you have to bring a friend.

Please don’t be a complete asshole and choose someone who’s more than 2 points behind you in the scale. Your wingman is a direct reflection of yourself, and yes we are judging you.

Here, we can have quality homegirl time, lessen the chance of one of you freaks dropping us a roofie, and make fun of you afterwards.

So. Do you really have the balls to attempt this? Do we really have the audacity to say half of the things in this profile? Of course.

Please apply by messaging us. We’re not that interested in OKC flirting back and forth (we have shit to do today) so let’s cut to the chase. If your profile doesn’t make you out to be higher than a 6 on the scale of douchebaggery, we just may meet you out for a drink.

Ok l8r.

P.S. if the words ‘orgy’ or ‘foursome’ are even mentioned in any of your messages or facetime it’s immediately over. We’ve already thought up every joke in the book. Let’s be honest, you’re probably not all that funny anyway.

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Goddamn we’re evil geniuses. ALL THE FREE DRINKS!

Source: dulltooldimbulb